No Problem

By: Don D'Ammassa

Star Rating:



Spoiler Disclaimer


Herbert Franken is a grad student in biochemistry. When his parents are killed in an accident, he inherits their money and a treasure-trove of family heirlooms. With the money, he furnishes a full laboratory in his basement, and within the keepsakes, he discovers a journal of scientific experiments conducted by his several times great-grandfather, Viktor Frankenstein. Herbert immediately begins working on improving upon these experiments and manages to reanimate a dead bird, but he has no intention of using it on humans. However, when his nosy neighbor comes calling, making demands, which leads to her accidental death, Herbert feels he has no other option. But his decision brings about a string of unintended consequences.


In "No Problem," Herbert, a grad student in biochemistry, loses his parents in a tragic accident, but inherits their fortune, along with a bunch of family memorabilia. He uses the money to create his own basement laboratory and discovers within the heirlooms a journal of scientific experiments belonging to his ancestor Viktor Frankenstein. Herbert then uses the information in the journal to recreate the experiments, never intending to use them on a human. However, when his elderly, nosy neighbor comes calling, asking too many questions, he accidentally causes her death. Not wanting to deal with the police, he then uses the serum he created to reanimate her corpse, only planning for it to last long enough to get her back to her own home where no questions would be asked. But doing so causes a cascade effect of unintended consequences.

I've never read Frankenstein, but this little story reminds me of a humorous Frankenstein fan fiction. Herbert is the mad scientist who is trying to do the right thing, but one bad choice leads him into a very big pickle. Every time something goes wrong, Herbert thinks to himself, "No problem," which of course is how the story got its title. However, each misstep leads to more and more problems that become increasingly amusing and even a bit absurd. It was good for a few smiles, but the open-ended conclusion didn't entirely satisfy me. I admit it was pretty easy to see where things were most likely headed. After all, there were probably only one of a couple of different scenarios that could have played out, but I guess I prefer stories to be wrapped up a little more neatly. So overall, this was another OK read in this anthology, but not one that was a particular stand-out. "No Problem" can be found in the anthology Blood Lite.


Don D'Ammassa