High Kicks and Misdemeanors By: Janet Berliner Star Rating:

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Synopsis

"Legs" Cleveland finds two people murdered with strange wounds, after which he's the one interrogated by police. When they release him, he goes to visit his great-granduncle, Willie, a Piute with an ostrich spirit guide. While he's there, Willie is taken away by a woman in a Jeep. The next day, Legs goes to Area 51, where he finds a dead ostrich in the road and is accosted by the same woman in a Jeep. She takes him to an ostrich farm, where he's forced to work, helping them turn the ostriches into killer soldiers. Legs comes up with a plan to dress the ostriches like Rockettes and teach them to dance as a cover for their murderous activities, and during their performance/attack, he manages to escape.

Review

"High Kicks and Misdemeanors" is such a strange little story, I'm not sure how to classify it. Perhaps weird horror or paranormal urban fantasy? [Shrug] I normally have no difficulty writing a brief synopsis of a story, but this one is so odd and meandering, I don't know if I can. However, here's my best shot (apologies that this is a repeat of the synopsis above, but I didn't have it in me to try to interpret this absurd story again): "Legs" Cleveland finds two people murdered with strange wounds, after which he's the one interrogated by police. When they release him, he goes to visit his great-granduncle, Willie, a Piute with an ostrich spirit guide. While he's there, Willie is taken away by a woman in a Jeep. The next day, Legs goes to Area 51, where he finds a dead ostrich in the road and is accosted by the same woman in a Jeep. She takes him to an ostrich farm, where he's forced to work, apparently helping them turn the ostriches into killer soldiers. Legs comes up with a plan to dress the ostriches like Rockettes and teach them to dance as a cover for their murderous activities, and during their performance/attack, he manages to escape.

Told you it was weird.;-) In fact, it was so bizarre, it made no sense at all. This is the second short story in this anthology that made me wonder if the author was high while writing it, because it felt like a surreal journey through someone's dreams or drug-trip. Honestly I got nothing out of it, so reading it was basically a waste of my time. Even the writing style was more telling rather than taking the time to engage the reader so that they could become part of the narrative. When the best praise I can offer a story is that I didn't notice any typos or major mechanical errors, that's a pretty low bar indeed, but I honestly don't know what else to say about this nonsensical tale. "High Kicks and Misdemeanors" can be found in the anthology Blood Lite.

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Janet Berliner