Two for Transylvania

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Synopsis

For years, Van Helsing and Dracula have been running cons on unsuspecting villagers with Van Helsing pretending to kill Dracula so that the villagers will pay him. Lately they've barely been getting enough to live off of, and with Dracula growing tired of the racket, they come up with a scheme to find a more permanent home.

Review

"Two for Transylvania" is a stand-alone short story in which Dracula and Van Helsing have teamed up to run cons on unsuspecting villagers. Van Helsing pretends to kill Dracula, and in exchange the villagers are so grateful, they pay him for his services. The two then share in the spoils, but lately pickings have been slim. Van Helsing is aging and Dracula is tiring of their life of pilfering, so they come up with a scheme to get Dracula a more permanent home in England.

At first, I was kind of amused that vampire and vampire hunter were starring in what's essentially a buddy comedy, but in the end, this story didn't do a whole lot for me. It's told primarily in dialog, which isn't my favorite style, and sometimes the conversations were too verbose, going down silly rabbit trails. I think this was meant to be humorous, but it just annoyed me, because it felt like the characters had ADD and couldn't focus. It also tended to muddle things, so that I was having a bit of trouble even understanding what their plan was. So overall, this was a pretty meh read for me. "Two for Transylvania" can be found in the anthology Blood Lite III: Aftertaste.

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Brad C. Hodson