All That Is Bitter & Sweet

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Synopsis

Actress Ashley Judd is well-known, not only for her notable film roles, but also as being the daughter of Naomi Judd and sister of Wynonna Judd, who together were the famous country music duo, The Judds. However, throughout her growing-up years, Ashley largely felt like the forgotten child, who was shuttled around between her parents and to different relatives, never really finding a place to belong. Because of this and being physically, emotionally, and sexually abused, she suffered from depression and suicidal ideation from a young age, but it mostly got brushed under the rug. Then in 2002, she was invited by a friend to participate in a tour of brothels, orphanages, and hospices in Southeast Asia as a representative of the organization Population Services International, of which she eventually became a board member. The experience was life-changing and put her on a path to becoming a humanitarian, traveling the world and using her star-power to advocate for the less fortunate. Through working with people who had been through a great deal in their lives, Ashley became more aware of her own emotional trauma, and after her sister's stay in rehab, she, too, decided to seek inpatient treatment to work though these issues, which finally put her on the road to recovery. Afterward, she attended Harvard studying for a degree in public administration, which she's using to continue her work with the needy and grow her outreach to the world.

Review

All That Is Bitter & Sweet is the memoir of Ashley Judd known for her acting roles in a variety of movies over the past three and half decades. She is the daughter and sister of Naomi and Wynonna Judd respectively, the famed country music duo, The Judds. Ashley is also know for her feminist activism and her humanitarian work throughout the world.

Ashley's story begins with her growing-up years and how she was basically the forgotten child. She was smart and did well in school, but she was shuttled around to various homes throughout that time. After her parents separated, she sometimes lived with her mom, sometimes her dad, and still other times with grandparents or other family members. She discusses how she suffered from depression and suicidal ideation from a frighteningly young age, partly because of the transient nature of her life, but largely due to the mental, emotional, and sexual abuse she was dealing with at that time. Once Ashley was grown and began having a successful career as an actor, it opened doors for her to become involved in the work of her heart, humanitarianism. She became a board member of the NGO, Population Services International, and lent her star-power to raise awareness of the organization's work in preventing diseases worldwide. She frequently traveled to other countries, interacting with some of the poorest and most downtrodden people imaginable in slums, brothels, orphanages, and health clinics. Through the emotional and heartrending nature of this work, Ashley started to become aware of the traumas in her own life. After her sister, Wynonna, completed a stay in a rehab facility, her family was invited to come for a special family week in which they took part in therapeutic activities. By the end of the week, Ashley was invited by the owners of the clinic to stay and complete the program herself, something that she decided to do. She candidly describes how she was treated for codependency and childhood trauma, and found it to be extremely helpful in putting her on the road to recovery. After her stay, she continued documenting her humanitarian efforts. Then she wraps up the book with getting her master's degree in public administration from Harvard that she, at that point, planned to use to grow her outreach to the world.

All That Is Bitter & Sweet has been on my TBR list for a very long time, and I have to admit that I couldn't recall why I put it there. My mom was a fan of The Judds when I was in my late teens, so I listened to some of their music back in the day, though I'm not big on country music in general. I also couldn't recall watching more than one or two of Ashley Judd's movies, so I couldn't exactly call myself a fan of hers either. That left a temptation to possibly drop it. However, knowing myself and that I wouldn't put a book on my TBR list without a good reason, I went forward with reading it, and I'm glad that I did. Not far into the book, I started to have vague memories of hearing about Ashley's humanitarian work and then it finally clicked that, that was the likely reason her memoir ended up on my list. I very much enjoyed reading about both her personal life and her activism. With regards to her personal life, I feel like she was very open and vulnerable about her struggles with mental illness and her later recovery process at the rehab facility. There was a great deal of her life experiences with which I could identify. I was struck by how she seemed to be the member of the family who got lost in the proverbial shuffle, never quite knowing where she was going to land, but always showing strength, fortitude, and resilience, which is something that I could very much relate to.

I loved reading about Ashley's travels to far-flung locales such as India, Cambodia, Thailand, Rwanda, the Democratic Republic of Congo, South Africa, and more. Everywhere she went she interacted with the people who's lives are the most difficult. She wasn't afraid to get in the trenches, visiting prostitutes, often at the squalid brothels where they worked, discovering that many of them were actually sex slaves. She also went to the slums, witnessing first-hand the filth and degradation these people live with every day. She visited orphans, AIDS patients, people sick with other preventable diseases, and women who'd been victimized. Everywhere she went, she seemed to lead with humility and empathy, always looking for some way that she could help, even if it was only by committing these people's stories to memory and retelling them to others in positions of power who could perhaps help make changes. Many times, I found myself tearing up over the conditions in which these people lived and how much we, in the Western world, take for granted. I honestly don't know how Ashley was able to walk away sometimes, and she was honest in admitting how hard it was for her. Throughout the book Ashley is also open about her faith and spiritual practices and how those inform her life and pursuits, which again is something to which I could relate. Overall, this was a lovely book that was hard to read in places but also very enlightening when it comes to the realities of poverty, disease, and suffering outside our own little bubble, something that I think more people should thoughtfully consider.

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Ashley Judd

Maryanne Vollers